A New Year Resolution after all...

Greetings to those who see this.
Here's to wishing you a Very Happy and Joyful New Year. I hope this year brings you every happiness and that you will attain your dreams, whatever they maybe.

The reason for this post is not a happy one however.
I have realised today, that I am rather disappointed in myself and have come to despise who I have become. Although, this revelation seems to have happened before, I do not think they had hit home as hard as this today.

I have never been one to make new year resolutions, or in the case I do, not one to keep them. Yet against the odds, I hope that this resolution I make today is something I can follow through.

To my friends:
Thank you for friendship for all these years. If I have never thanked you for your care and concern, I truly sorry. I value you greatly despite my indifferent attitude (which I hope to change). I only hope that I have been a good friend to you and that I can grow this friendship into something more beautiful.

To my parents:
I know most of all, that the people I have disappointed are them. Even though they keep it to themselves, their eyes betray those feelings. I hope I have not hurt you too deeply. I have yet to learn about unconditional love but I realise that home is the best place to do so.

To my best friend:
You probably won't see this, but I'll write it anyway. I truly am grateful that our paths crossed. The last 7 years that I have known you, you have been a wonderful friend and if I may say so, a brother. I feel blessed that I have a relationship with someone who cares about me, tolerates all my character flaws and tries each day to bring a sense of normalism to my life.

To my sis:
Thanks for hanging out with me, even though all I seem to do is break things that belong to you. You have been a great sister and a friend to me. I hope that I can be a better role model to you. I wish you every success and joy. You deserve it for being a person who puts others above yourself at the cost of your personal happiness. I truly am blessed to have the greatest sister anyone could wish for.

To Angel:
Please forgive me for not paying enough attention and showering you with the love, care and concern that you so richly deserve. I hope that I can be a be man that you would be proud to share your life with. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming into my life and for tolerating me through all the things that I do that irks you.

To the greater power:
Though my belief in religion is all but shattered, I do still feel a higher power that I cannot deny nor comprehend. It would seem foolish and unseemly to pray to you with my present mentality. Whether other people call you God, Allah, Shiva or by any other name, it does not matter to me. My belief in you is only applicable to myself. All I hope to attain from you is the wisdom to walk the path that I am destined for and to have the courage and strength to make the decisions that I have to make. Make me a better man so I may stand tall and say that I have lived my life without regrets.

I hope that anyone who reads this does not feel cynical or unhappy. Despite whatever my own views are, it is a new year with endless possibilities. I sincerely hope that you too will have the wisdom, courage and strength to follow your destiny. Once again, I wish you a very Happy and Blessed New Year.